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Attracting Love – Why Can’t I Find My Soulmate?
The Answer May Surprise You.
The frustration I hear in the voices of women who are alone and looking for romance in their lives.
“Why do I keep attracting jerks and losers?” “All the men in my age group are either married or content to be single.” “What if I never meet the love of my life?”
Well.
There is a secret key to finding the man of your dreams and believe it or not, it has nothing to do with your past lovers or the emotionally distant relationship you may have with your father. The key to finding a man who gets you and loves you is to fully recover from the hurts from the women of your past.
What do you say? How do my friendships with women relate to finding my mate? Let me tell you a story.
When Janna went to college, she felt really lucky. He doesn’t fit in with the cool kids in high school and is a loner. However, college is different. He met people he could relate to and started making friends. Naive and open, he begins to trust these women and introduce himself more deeply. It’s so fun to come back to the dorm and always find someone, no matter what time it is, to share about dates, guys and guys. It’s a great friendship and Janna is thriving.
Then, out of the blue, Janna met her own man. It was an instant crush. Every cell in his body vibrated when he thought of her. Body, mind and soul were all completely captivated by this wonderful man. He fell hard and, luckily for him, so did she. Janna and Dan started hanging out as often as they could. They never dated, they just hung out. It’s comfortable and fun and feels so right. What happened next to his girlfriends blindsided him completely. Janna’s roommate, Kate, was going through a messy breakup with her longtime boyfriend at the time. In a way, they see Janna’s time spent with Dan as a departure from Kate.
As they clarify their position, Janna is faced with a difficult choice. His girlfriends or…..his soulmate. Of course he chose Dan. He was her whole world. What time is it? The chemistry is strong and consistent. They got each other. It’s very easy to get along and they can never be satisfied with each other. It is very natural for them to spend more time together. And so they did.
The price is still high. In the ill-informed decision-making of a teenage crowd, Janna is kicked out of the group. At the time, it didn’t seem important. The pain and frustration is perfectly hidden by the intense chemistry between Janna and Dan. The loss of the friendships, the support, the smiles, the fun involved in dating is never addressed.
When Janna and Dan broke up after a passionate, complicated and significant period of time, Janna was left not only without her soulmate and her boyfriends, she also took a big hit in the area of trust. After all, he chose those women and his soulmate and those choices were filled with drama and trauma. Unaware of the unspoken disappointment that was still deep in her memory, Janna never trusted women again. Keeping his heart closed from other women, he could comfort himself knowing that he would never be hurt again.
Fast forward ten, twenty years or more. Janna has now had many female friends over the years but few have been able to maintain themselves. She was lonely and, truth be told, desperate to meet a man to be with. He wanted what he and Dan had. He wanted to feel that excitement again. Its pursuit is constant and intense. “Where is he?” He cries into his pillow at night. “Why can’t I meet him?”
Freeze Frame:
Betrayal by women, by women, is the most damaging emotional wound. Self-protective posture and behavior keep women at arm’s length from each other.
Ask yourself, how many women do I fully trust? Unless you are very different from the crowd, you get a small number. What does all this have to do with your invisible soul? Everything.
If you are attracted to a romantic relationship with an unconscious (which by its very nature is innocent and open, bless his heart) desire to fulfill the roles of boyfriend and girlfriend, the result is always devastating. Whether it ends sooner or later, the result is the same. The relationship is lopsided and, without help, pretty much doomed.
Not many men will be attracted (in the invisible but oh real world of strong signals.) to you with this signal. Men run from necessity every time. They can’t be everything to you and you don’t want a guy who thinks he can. Trust me.
They read it on their Man Radar. Yuck, you say, I don’t want that to shine! Are you ready to start doing things differently? How serious are you about finding your soul mate?
Take inventory and see how many of your past female friendships ended badly. Search your heart to see if the past betrayal still hurts. Are you holding yourself back from finding your soulmate because the pain of a broken heart seems worse than being alone? Learning to open your heart to women again will put you on the fast track to receiving the man the Universe is trying to bring you.
Before you say you don’t have issues with bad girls, ask yourself this question: Why am I still single?
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