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Flirting: Building Rapport

If you want to cement the flirting process then you need to build a relationship with the other person, this includes asking the other person what they want and also opening up through personal disclosure.

Develop the art of open-ended questions

To develop your personal and professional relationships then you need to develop the skill of finding out about the other person, this is the art of relationship building. If you ask now, or a series of questions that only lead to a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ (closed questions) then you don’t leave a chance for personal disclosure, which is important to see what things you share. common. People like people they like in things.

To get on the fast track to building a relationship you need to start asking open-ended questions. Try replacing closed questions like ‘Isn’t it wet today’ with open questions that require a longer answer ‘What do you think of the weather today?’.

Open questions start with who, what, where, when, why and how. Keep the key words in mind when you create any questions in your mind. You can also ask a friend or colleague to count how many open and closed questions you ask in a normal conversation. This will give you some great feedback and you can aim to improve the number of times you ask a closed question in a conversation.

Choose a topic they want to chat about

It’s easier to build a relationship if you let the other person talk about a topic that interests them. Be careful not to dominate the conversion with your own favorite topics, instead listen carefully and explore their interests. Use the following tips to ensure you have plenty of tricks up your sleeve.

You need to tailor the conversation to fit the other person’s needs. No matter how much you want to share the latest happenings of your favorite soap or how your football team is progressing, it doesn’t mean that someone will find it very gripping.

Research has proven that on any given day a woman speaks more words than a man, which explains why women are more adept at small talk. Women are more interested in emotions while men are more focused on facts. Use the topic suggestions below as areas you can research to ensure you can keep the conversation going;

• Their line of work
• News, headlines (from current affairs to reality TV)
• Planned or previous holiday destinations
• Musical Flavors
• Topics, Interests and events from their social media page (such as Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn etc.)
• Interests and hobbies

Preventing conversations from losing steam

It takes practice to stop a conversation from losing steam, but once you know how, you’ll never be short of a conversation again. This skill will serve you not only in your flirting efforts but also at work or in interviews. You will be a more interesting person to talk to.

Look for opportunities to tell people things about yourself based on the information they just shared with you; it speeds up the relationship process and allows the other person to identify areas you have in common. People who are good at personal disclosure make you feel like you’ve ‘known them for years’.

Try to answer questions with a lot of meaningful information (without dominating the conversation) and have a question tagged at the end of your answer that will continue to build rapport and conversation.

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