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Minimising Conflict With Effective Communication

Did you know there are 5 types of communication that lead to conflict?

Let’s see them…

Definition of ‘Conflict’

It helps if we first define what we mean by ‘contradiction’

A conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two parties, both of which perceive interference from the other to achieve their goals.

Conflict can only exist when both parties are aware of a misunderstanding

The importance of values ​​in a communication team

There are negative group values ​​that can sabotage good communication within a team. For example:

As long as my work is good that’s all that matters to me it undermines the unity and cooperation of the team.

Problems are the result of other people’s mistakes that are also unhealthy.

If someone ‘posts’ it’s their problem it doesn’t really help anyone.

Such values ​​encourage competition, not cooperation and collaboration. These group values ​​destroy teamwork!

Positive team values

There are 5 key values ​​that help cooperation and unity within a team:

We are all in this together

Team performance is more important than individual performance. Note that blaming communication styles leads to individual performance becoming the most important factor, resulting in little or no team work.

No member is more important than another

If individuals consider themselves more important than others (‘superior communication’) then communication breaks down and competition takes over. But when everyone is seen as equal, communication is open and there is a high level of cooperation and teamwork.

Open, honest communication is essential

When you think of an answer, instead of truly listening to one, you are engaging in ‘dishonest communication’. Similarly, if you see something being done that is unacceptable but you are ‘polite’ and ignore it you are equally dishonest in your communication. There is no room for dishonest communication in groups. Open and honest communication requires the use of listening and empathy. Listening to understand gives us the other person’s perspective–it allows us to hear their experience. Empathy reduces the need to judge the behaviors and beliefs of others. Through listening and empathy we model open and honest communication.

Everyone needs open access to information

Informatin facilitates collaboration and cooperation, and effective decision making requires all information. Decision making always has an element of uncertainty attached to it, but having all the information available makes decision making easier.

We all need to focus on the goals, objectives and mission of the team

Without a clear and sustained focus small distractions can become big obstacles.

The 5 types of negative communication that lead to conflict

Negative communication

We all know a ‘Negative Nigel/Nancy’ on every team–they exist and we find it almost impossible to get rid of them. But constant negativity drains other team members of motivation, energy and self-confidence. So Nigel and Nancy have to deal with their behavior. This will be best achieved if all other team members individually feedback on the impact of this behavior on them. An ‘I message’ is the best way for this–like, “Every time I suggest your negative things frustrate me and make it difficult to work with you.”

Regret communication

Blamers spread blame around, effectively shutting down reflection and scrutiny of their performance and behavior. However, their impact can be reduced by improving a learning environment, as well as using ‘I messages’, peer pressure and individual feedback. Find out what the complainer’s issues are and try to solve them one by one.

Superior communication

The ‘superiors’ always rule people over, direct, advise and moralize. They are also very adept at withholding information. Such behavior sets up team members for frustration, anger and sabotage. But the ‘superiors’ and their behavior can be met with individual assertiveness and ‘me messages’

Dishonest communication

Dishonest communicators often fail to practice listening to understand and fail to show empathy. They also exhibit circumlocutory communication–also known as ‘talking about the issue, not answering it’. It’s like casually wandering around the outer edge of a garden when what’s really needed is walking confidently into its center. Dishonest communicators also often use regal or imperial ‘WE’ statements–like, “We’re not having fun”, when in fact they’re the only ones who aren’t having fun. They also intend not to discuss unprofessional behavior or behavior that harms the team and its mission. All that leads to a dysfunctional team. But it can be solved: everyone in the group must insist on open, honest communication, develop mutual respect, stop blaming, bullying and harassment.

Selective communication

Selective communicators only say what they think others need to know, thus keeping themselves in a position of power over other team members. Such behavior can be effectively met by compelling requests for access to all information.

Handling personal criticism

It’s always uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of criticism. It hurts so much! Oh!

But there are ways to manage your feelings when someone is ‘looking for you’.

1. Listen to understand

• Listen with your ears, your eyes and your senses

• Engage your mind and let go of your emotions–let them go (remember, YOU are in control of what you think and feel)

• Be flexible and accommodate another perspective on a problem or issue

• Evaluate, discriminate and judge the decision you make

2. Don’t go into ‘defensive’ mode

3. Use the ‘me message’– like, “When I was just criticized, I was angry and hurt and didn’t care about the information. But, I wanted helpful feedback.”

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