Good Questions To Ask Your More-Than-Friend Less-Than-Dating Mrs. Right…or Mrs. Disaster? 10 Requirements for True Love

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Mrs. Right…or Mrs. Disaster? 10 Requirements for True Love

I still remember getting the call, the call I knew was coming but was still shocked to hear. My friend, Johnny, after only 10 months of marriage to a woman who everyone knew was wrong for him, got a divorce. Instead of being a happy couple, Johnny and Marissa joined millions of other Americans and became statistics. All-too-common statistics divorce.

It’s funny how these short-lived marriages and long-term miseries happen. It usually starts with a bad case of “Oneitis.”

You don’t know the word Oneitis? Well, surely you know the symptoms of the infectious disease:

* You believe that you have met the perfect woman for you, that you can have a good relationship with and eventually marry

* You ignore the bad behavior and abuse coming from this woman, still believing she is “The One”

* You have seen and met women who you know are better for you, but ignore them because the woman you are with is better looking, taller, thinner—so many superficial qualities that will not add to your love . you know you can get it elsewhere

* You spend a lot of money on this girl, and she doesn’t bother to thank you—or if she does, it’s not very sincere.

* Your friends tell you that this girl is not right for you, but you ignore their advice

* Maybe your friends even fought with this girl, but you defended her even though you knew her behavior was unacceptable.

* You spend all your time with this girl, and ignore your friends and family

* You always call him to see what he’s doing, and who he’s with

* You can’t get this girl out of your mind, even if she’s long gone!

If you have ever watched the classic film Swingersthen you know what Oneitis is: it’s Mikey’s character!

Unfortunately, many men have become the Mikeys of the world. And while some men may go through with it on a woman they’re just dating, other men, like Johnny, carry this obsession into marriage. And that’s when the “disease” becomes fatal.

How do you know if a woman is right for you? I could write book after book about what’s right and what’s wrong, but what it boils down to are ten key ingredients for lasting success:

He supports and encourages your goals and interests. A woman who is right for you should follow you on your path—not try to change it in her own way. Unfortunately, Johnny’s wife wanted him to do something completely different from the direction he wanted to go, so it’s no wonder their romance quickly fizzled out. Guys, if you are not open about your feelings, interests, passions and purpose, then you will not be with the girl. He should listen and understand, not reject and mock.

You can accept him and his goals and interests. Just as a woman should support and push you in the direction you want to go, so you should be able to do the same for her. If he likes motorcycling and you hate it, or if he likes to travel the world and you like to stay in one place, then chances are you are not meant for each other. Also, you need to understand his emotions and concerns—both of you need to be good, compassionate listeners.

He loves you for you, not for your money and possessions. Too many rich and powerful men have harmful relationships with women. Why? Because the woman didn’t marry these men-they married their money. And divorce ain’t cheap, so even if these men break up with the bloodsuckers, the women still get a big slice of the pie!

He usually hangs out with your family and friends—and he doesn’t want to see them. Many men seem to forget this, watching dumbfounded as their girlfriend pulls them away from their family and friends to get it all for herself. I have a blind uncle who allowed himself to cut off all contact with his family because his wife hated them. After all, they are still married, but is that the kind of woman you want to be with?

He is on the same page, spiritually, as you. Spirituality is a big thing for couples—it brings them together like nothing else. I know many couples who are happily married because they believe in the same God, in the same purpose of life, in the same deep feeling about their life. Conversely, couples who fight over life’s questions don’t have the same romantic love. A girl for you doesn’t necessarily believe in the same religious principles and dogmas as you, but if she’s an atheist and you’re a Christian, things might not work out for a long time.

He wants to spend as much time with you as he does with his own friends and family. This may seem like an obvious one, but many men like women who only see them on THEIR schedule. If a woman is right for you, you don’t need to confuse her or ask her permission to see her. You both WANT to see each other and miss each other—that’s a sign that you both love each other.

You feel the same way as someone else. If you know in your heart that you want to marry him and spend the rest of your life with him, but he is not committed and is not clear, then you should move on. A true, loving partner must accept you completely for who you are and how you feel. On the other hand, if you both feel comfortable sharing each other’s feelings, and he accepts the deep things you reveal to him, then you have found a real catch!

You both make time for each other, even at work and school. Spending quality time with each other is important. If your girl is always at her job, concentrating on her career, or studying for a degree, and doesn’t want to be with you, then it’s time to move on. True love knows no bounds—including time. Although it is nice to have a woman who is serious about her career and education, it can also be a relationship breaker if she is too serious.

Money and possessions are not as important as love. It’s a simple matter: If your girl only talks about possessions and money, if those are her true values, then you can leave your relationship. Every woman wants good things in life, but if she truly loves you, then how much you earn and how much you give her should not be #1 on her priority list.

Both of you are able to put each other before yourself. It can make or break a relationship. If he is willing to do things for you, sacrifice his friends’ time or work time to be with you and cook for you, then you have found yourself a winner. However, if he constantly cancels dates, spends more time with his friends than you, and does not give you any gifts or acts of service, then you have found yourself a bitch. Will continue. If he treats himself as more important than you, then you are headed for disaster.

Ultimately, you want a woman who you can be with, and know that she appreciates you day and night. If you’re in a relationship right now that you want to take more seriously, ask yourself if the woman you’re with meets these 10 requirements. And if it’s love you’re looking for, don’t go too far unless you really feel the girl is treating you right.

For all of you in a marriage or recently divorced, I recommend you check out this great service I found on the web. You can get free, high-quality newsletters that will tell you how to manage your marriage, or find a new one, and what kinds of signs to watch for that your relationship is on the rocks. Watch Save My Marriage Today now.

And remember: There is a big difference between “The One” being for you…and “The One” being your biggest nightmare!

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