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Verbal Aikido: 7 Ways to Handle Difficult Customers

In my live complaint resolution seminars, I demonstrate the martial art of Aikido and offer it as a strategy to diffuse anger. I began teaching this unconventional method of conflict management after losing my breath as I watched Steven Segal effortlessly defeat his opponents without violence or aggression in half a dozen of his movies. Aikido is a non-violent martial art that never responds to the force of force and can be used in conflict situations with demanding, angry or unreasonable customers. (I have personally used Aikido in situations with customers, employees and co-workers.) Using the principles of Aikido, you can also diffuse anger and demonstrate amazing control over all aspects of attacks. upside down

People who use “verbal aikido” can respond to heated situations directly and assertively without getting drawn into the drama of battle and they can lay the foundation for win-win resolutions that maintain customer loyalty – even with an angry one. who are customers. Here are 7 principles of Aikido that will help you deal with anger more effectively.

1. An Aikidoist strategically calms the attack. This is done by using a relaxed body posture and open hands. Verbal attacks from angry customers also require the same calming technique. In Aikido, the master deflects rather than confronts the attack. This takes the power and speed out of the attack and allows the master to stay centered and calm. If you respond to your customer with “Obviously, you’re upset with us and getting to the bottom of this is as important to me as it is to you.” the anger began to fade. You respond to anger directly and non-defensively and you are not drawn into the drama of the attack.

2. Aikido never meets force with force. In fact, there are no direct attacks and very little hitting or kicking. When dealing with angry customers it is natural to respond to an attack with an attack. When the customer shouts, we raise our voice. When the attack becomes personal, we become defensive and less willing to cooperate with the customer. While we feel justified in launching our attack because we are being attacked, we must realize that a defensive (strong) response only exacerbates the original problem. Let’s learn from the Aikido masters and not attack back defensively. Instead, we respond carefully and strategically.

3. Aikido emphasizes quick, decisive moves designed to use the attacker’s force against him. This is done through evasive movements, body shifts, and leverage. Taking it to a verbal level, you take a customer’s intensity and sense of urgency and use that to your advantage with an answer like: “No question, we’re in a mess. Getting to the bottom of it as important to me as you are.” Instead of letting the customer’s scare tactics negatively affect you, you give that energy back to the customer by facilitating his actions.

4. Aikidoists mix with their opponent’s energy. In Aikido, it’s like you move towards your opponent and then switch places with them. In a verbal attack, mixing with your customers is finding common ground with the customer. You can integrate your angry customer by listening with sincere intent to understand their pain, frustration and needs and then responding with empathy. The knowledge you gain from listening to your customer becomes your strength and positions you to redirect energy in a productive direction. When you have integrated the customer, that is, when you really understand the customer’s situation, the attack can be neutralized and redirected.

5. Aikido students learn to deflect the force of their opponent and let that force pass through them. When we respond to angry customers in this way, we can stay cool when customers are hot. We cannot be carried away by the emotion of anger. Instead, we allow the customer to express his feelings and we do not comment personally and we do not let our feelings (anger, rejection, anger) control our responses.

6. An Aikido Master never seeks to kill his opposition. When we transfer this principle to customer service situations, we know that our goal is not to hang a customer, blow a customer, or “burn” a difficult customer. Our goal is to find more diplomatic ways to communicate and reach a win win resolution.

7. In Aikido, all opponents are considered partners. Think of your angry customer as your partner and let this mindset direct you to use interactive dialogue to work with your customer to resolve the problem. Try not to resist or pressure your “partner.” Work with your partner, talk to your partner, and find solutions that benefit the customer and the company.

Applying the principles of Aikido to difficult situations with unhappy customers allows you to maintain calm and control, and effectively diffuse anger. The next time you’re dealing with a difficult customer, why not go to Steven Segal…you’ll have fun and you’ll be surprised how effective you can be!

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