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The Motivation Myth: What You Really Need to Know to Increase Your Motivation
Have you ever had a day where you just can’t seem to get started? The alarm sounds and yet you lie; not wanting to take the seemingly huge step of getting out of bed. I was right there asking myself.. what is this So, I decided to do some research and self-examination and came to this conclusion that I want to share with you in the hope that it will help you shift your perspective on motivation.
There are many myths about motivation or the lack of it.
Let’s start with some common questions:
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How can I motivate myself?
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How can I get motivation?
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Why am I not motivated?
The Myth: The basic flaw in these questions is that motivation is lacking or you need to do something special to get motivation. In fact, you might believe that some people are blessed with an internal wellspring of motivation that flows within them.
The Truth: The truth is that you already have all the motivation you need. Motivation is an endlessly renewable resource that you have. It is inexhaustible, it cannot be taken from you, and a person cannot get more than one.
The Myth: Lack of motivation is the problem. This is the reason for not doing things.
The Truth: Lack of enthusiasm is the symptom. It takes a deeper understanding of self-awareness to find the real reason for not doing so.
Think about that for a moment. Your next question might be that if you have all the motivation you need, what’s the problem? The answer lies in your emotional intelligence (EQ). How are your EQ scores in the areas of self-awareness and self-management because these two areas drive your motivation? Although I do not know the specific answer to this question for you, I would venture a guess that the problem may be that you are not consciously choosing how and when to use motivation.
Example #1: Every day you get up and play video games. Your friends and family say you lack motivation. In fact, you show a great amount of MOTIVATION but you show enthusiasm in your desire to play videos and not in areas that others choose to be more important.
Example #2: You go to work every day. You rarely lose a job because you understand 1) the return you get from going to work and 2) the importance of your role in your job. It’s you encouraged to go to work.
Real Talk: Instead of having a lack of motivation, think that you are choosing to apply your motivation. That would be perfectly okay. It really depends on you and what you decide is important. Emotional intelligence is about self-awareness and that includes being honest with yourself about what you want versus what you say you want.
It is important that we start using situational motivation. As the example above shows, no one is always “unmotivated” just as no one is always “motivated”. Breaking down when you are motivated versus not allows you to better understand what is contributing to your lack of motivation.
So how can you help clear the noise around enthusiasm? Consider the three key areas below and you may find that you need to adjust where you focus your motivational energy.
Three (3) Easy Steps for Understanding and Managing Motivation (CUF):
#1 – Clarity– What task or part of your life needs motivation? More importantly why is it important? What will be the effect on you? How does it affect others? Whenever you find yourself feeling unmotivated, clarify the purpose of this task. Is it for you or is it done to satisfy others? Clarify the purpose and benefits of why this specific task or area is important. This “why” becomes the fuel in your tank. This will help keep you focused and pick you up when you’re ready to fall. Your “why” is the driving factor in completing this task so make it good! If you know it’s not something you want to do, it takes a different conversation with those who are holding you back from these expectations.
#2 – Urgency– When do you want to do it? Does it matter if you do it in the next 2 weeks, the next 2 years or the next 10 years. Very clear about this part. To create a compelling motivation for change, there must be a sense of urgency or human nature will take over and we will continue to do what we have always done. After all, what’s the rush? This is the theory behind Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule. You create urgency for change and then don’t allow yourself time to make excuses and retreat. 5-4-3-2-1… do it!
#3 – Focus– Now that you understand the WHAT and when, now comes the how. The way to start moving yourself is to shift your focus. Simply put, you get what you aim for. If you want to do something, just focus on it. Move it to the top of your priority list. Think about it actively, start planning for it, start doing it, don’t let yourself be distracted from it, and check it every day. Also, it should fit into your routine. Otherwise, it will feel like a square peg in a round hole…it won’t work. Finally, create accountability systems and partners so you don’t leave yourself behind. If this is a real priority for you, make time and space in your life, embrace the positive, and do it.
There are hundreds of other strategies I could list here. However, I believe in keeping things simple because it is sometimes the smallest actions that create extraordinary results.
As you move forward, always remember… you don’t lack motivation, you just lack the use of it.
Until next time, all the best in living your most amazing life!
Rhonda
The Dream Life Coach
Improve my EQ, fast!
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